15-weeks post op: check in with bariatric program

Yesterday was 15 weeks post op (4 months next week? how is that possible?), and today I had a check-in at Beth Israel. I was nervous and called my best friend on the drive into Boston. "I'm wicked hormonal, and I've eaten 2 cups of sesame sticks in the past few days," I said, and it felt like a confession. "But then I went to the gym." 
"Do you know how different that behavior is?" she asked. "Sesame sticks — and going to the gym?" 

She's right. I really am living a different life. 

I know some people ask why bariatric patients, if they work so hard after surgery, need surgery at all. Why not just do it without surgery? I wonder that sometimes myself. 

The answer, for me, is that I need the restriction of my new, smaller tummy. Yes, I concentrate on protein first and 80-90% of the time, I make healthy food choices. But my ability to take in food (healthy or not) has been drastically reduced. One day last week, I grabbed a handful of tortilla chips. I ate 4 and put the rest away — I was satisfied. Before surgery, that never would have happened. I could, and would, eat far more, possibly without ever feeling satisfied.

Another piece of the answer is that after surgery, my body responds better to healthy eating and activity. Last July to December, I watched what I ate and drank, and went for walks — and I lost 10 pounds total. As overweight as I was, I still don't understand why weight didn't come off more quickly. Now, after surgery, I feel like my body works better. When I exercise and make healthy food choices, the weight comes off. 

I also was nervous, I think, because I see people in my support groups losing weight faster than I am. When I isolate myself, I'm perfectly happy (thrilled, in fact) with my loss and the timeframe, but inevitably, a little part of me compares my progress to other people — and I come up short. 

But Erin, the bariatric nurse, and Dr. H, the medical director, were very pleased with my progress. Dr. H said the percentages of body weight loss and excess weight lost are right where they should be, and they both said my loss is right on track. They were thrilled when I said I go to the gym, work with a trainer, go to yoga class and walk with my husband and the dogs. 

Over the scale in the bariatric area, there's a quilt. In the center, it says "Now I can..." Some squares have statements written by patients, things like "have my grandson sit on my lap" or "cross my legs comfortably." My square, I told Erin this morning, would say "live my life." I don't feel trapped anymore, or limited. I feel FREE.

The numbers

I'm down 53 pounds since my highest, 37 pounds since surgery 15 weeks ago. I put those numbers out there for other sleeve patients who might think they're "slow losers." According to my medical team, we're right on track.