Do the thing you think you cannot do

This morning, I'm drinking my coffee, comforting two scared dogs in a thunderstorm and looking on Pinterest. I was looking at a friend's board called "Being Better," and I came across this quote from Eleanor Roosevelt: "You must do the thing you think you cannot do."

You can't move forward when you're stuck in fear. You have to ignore the fear, at least for a little while.

A whole lot of my journey forward is about doing exactly that. Practice makes it easier, but in the beginning, it seemed impossible. It's something I've practiced with therapists over the years: being at least a little comfortable being uncomfortable. And then in my yoga class this spring, I learned to practice being present with the discomfort.

At one point, surgery seemed impossible. Being healthy seemed impossible. Being fit definitely seemed impossible.

Feeling trapped is hellish. As I've said before, I felt trapped by my body and my size, by being so out of shape and unhealthy. I'd reached a place where I couldn't see the way forward. I see now that when I asked my doctor for help with my weight, I was ignoring the fear, just for a few moments. It can start small and grow.

I saw a meme about pushing yourself just a little bit further, and then a little bit further again, and again. That's what I do with the fear: push it just a little bit at a time.

That pushing is also how I approach fitness, I realized this morning. "I'll run as far as I can," I tell myself when I start a lap. I feel good but then pretty quickly start to get tired. "Half a lap," I say. "You can stop at half a lap." I make it half a lap and then set the next goal. "I'll go to that yellow mark." It becomes clear I can do that, so "I'll go to that white mark." 

At some point, I run out of steam and really do need a break. But inevitably, I find I can go further, last longer, than my mind thought. I'm pushing myself and finding I can do things I think I cannot do. That's an amazing feeling.